I am kind of back. Since I had somewhat 12-13 exams in one semester, I was seriously knocked out. After that, I tried to step back with just four exams, but I did underestimate the workload, so in the end I did not finish the exams.
Beside I finished 50% of my studies (yay!), get rid of 50% of my hair (yay!), killed my hard disk (nah!) and looking now like a green-blue-haired monster, I did decide to do something really, really risky and somewhat crazy.
Short: I will (and already did since 27.01.2017) take one semester off my University. It means, I won’t take any courses, won’t to something for my university, and beside working for few hours a week, having more free time than I had ever in my life. This means, I will have up to nine months without pressure to perform something. The reason that I decide to do this is really simple also sad: I am overworked and in a state, where I do things just for the sake of my studies or work, but I did end up giving up everything which were fun for me and having no hobbies or real interest anymore. I am a passionate person, I love to work my hands off, I do not care about hardworking, as long I like what I am doing and I have any goal to focus on.
However after few years full with senseless pressure, overworking with jobs-just-for-the-money and totally ignoring my own needs because it seems so logical and mature, I did reach a point, where I even was not able to motivate myself to eat probably.
Losing the sense for what could be fun for me and any goals, I reached a state of total senselessness relating to my studies, work and everything.
If I am honest: it were so much more intelligent, if did take my free time this semester and not the upcoming because I messed this one up, but whatever – I did the mistake, I am not able to change this now. I am a honest and cruel person, so take this: at the moment I do not really like my subject of study. Science is still my lovechild and Artifitical Intellegence a big part of my heart, but I am so disgusted by my required courses, taking this time off was kind of an emergency plan and hoping as a result I do not give up and keep going somehow.
So, what do you think? Party all day? Netflix and chill?
I think in a logical way – it is not like that my ”free” time is really free. I still need to pay my rent and it is more like an investment in myself. I take this semester off, but I should not forget that this time is precious and a one-chance-thing, because I do not know, when I will have this kind of freedom ever again. In such a manner in this time I lose money. This is the reason, why did made a list with my goals and a schedule. At the moment my schedule looks like this:
I will work for six days a week minimum, six to seven hours a day, with one flexible day off, where I will head for the libary/flea market/concert etc., so I constantly leave the house and change from peri_the_robot to peri_the_human. Why I call my workdays, workdays? If I declare those days as workdays and not ”free time” or just ”days” it sounds more serious and I will push myself more and will not take it easy. I do not know if I will include my outside work hours as a barista at my university to my work hours, but we will see.
And maybe you did notice that my days begin really, really early (usually at five o’clock).
I want to change my sleeping schedule to be more productive. Normally I am kind of a typical compuer science student night owl. I stay up until late and sleep often until forenoon. Although this where my way-of-sleeping-and-surviving, I am far away from being productive at the night, so I will change my sleeping habits to use my time in an efficiently way.
Everyday when I was able to stay up early (between five and six o’clock) and followed my schedule, I will put one of the coins into this jar. Just for my motivation and to see, how hard I am really trying. It is simple, practical and effective because I love visual stimulus for motivation.
Beside my gaols relating to my life organization I have educational goals during my work hours, although those are more ”free”. The only goal I have in my ”’journey”: I want to learn something.
It did not need to be a part of my studies, nothing what would create money, just things to feel passionate about and learn about. I want to create something and do something, left something behind.
Not more, not less. Being a better person than I am now. This is my main goal. Not changing myself completly that would be totally insane and pointless, because this would not last long.
Chaosperi will be always here, but just upgraded. This is the reason, why I head for everything I wanted to learn about, but never had the time/time/passion/time/time etc. At the moment my ”edu-peri’-list” looks like this:
Kind of random, kind of logical, although it is hidden and nearly dead, I cannot deny my inner geek. One and two is easy to explain: Python is often used for machine learning (almost the same as AI) and Java Script was the first programming language I used to try, so hopefilly I will get better.
As someone who was a former graphic designer I am not able to deny my artistic streak (and I do not want), but because of my studies I did not have any time to draw and my style always looks the same.
My desire to know more about Artificial Intelligence (especially the theoretical part) should be self-explanatory by the reason of I absolutely love the topic. Last one: not overworking myself and as always staying awesome. I will surely explain where and what (online-) courses I take and maybe writing few reviews about them.
From now on, I will post a weekly update of my journey and even more, so keep camping here!